No Suite For You!


A woman walked inside with two young sons. “Do you have a room available?” she asked.

“I have lots of rooms available. How many do you want?” I said.

“We weren’t certain because there’s a large bus in the parking lot.” There was a large tour bus outside, but the rest of the parking lot was almost barren. The doors opened, and her husband entered the building. He was a large man, with a beach ball gut. The bottom of his t-shirt was resting over the top of his round belly.

“Hey” he was speaking to his wife. “I want to make sure there’s a room available before I turn the van around and park it. You have a huge bus out there.” he said.

“We’re good. You can go ahead and park.” She replied. “Do you have any rooms with the pull out couch-beds? I called earlier, and I was told the rate would be $110.00.”

“Only our suites have the couch-beds, those are at a rate of $130.00. I can give you a standard two queen room for $110.00.” The lady looked at me as if I told her something that didn’t make sense.

“Why are they in the suites, but not the other rooms?”

“Because, if all of our rooms had a couch, then all of the rooms would be suites and you would have to pay $130.00 instead of $110.00.” I watched both of them blinking as they processed that information.

“Well,” said the wife, “We were quoted a room for $110.00, and we were told you have rooms that have couches.” Her stance was firm. Although, she wasn’t lying. She was spinning the truth to manipulate me into giving her what she wants.

“You were told that we had rooms at a rate of $110.00, am I correct?”

“Yes.”

“And after you were given that rate did you ask for a room with a couch?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, so you were told that we also had rooms that included a couch?”

“Yes.” Her patience was wearing thin.

“When he told you that did he mention that only suites have couches?”

“No, he never told me that. He told me you have rooms for $110.00, and I can get a couch!” She was lying. People lie to get what they want. The person who spoke to her over the phone was the front desk supervisor, and he would have made sure to mention the difference in prices.

“I think maybe there was some miscommunication. If you want the standard room, what I can do is give you a rollaway bed at no extra charge. That way you have three beds, and you don’t have to pay extra for the suite.”

“No.” She said like she was taking charge of the situation. “I want the room I was told I could have; with a couch for $110.00.”

“Ma’am, I assure you that our roll-away beds are just as comfortable as the beds in the couches.” They both suck. “I can easily bring one to your room, but…”

“You listen to me.” She took a step forward. Her eyes grew wide, and she pointed her finger at me. “I want what I was promised over the phone.” I took a slow, deep breath and kept my composure. I put a smile on my face and said…

“Can I have a confirmation number for the reservation you were promised?”

“I don’t have a confirmation number. We never made the reservation; we just asked what the cost would be.” She said. Her husband stepped in.

“We’re just tired and frustrated. Can we just hurry this along?” His wife wasn’t done being the boss.

“Shut up and let me handle this!” She said. “Do I have to call your manager directly?” She said, with another finger pointed at my face.

“Absolutely not ma’am, I am perfectly capable of resolving this issue. Now, if you didn’t make a reservation and hold the room with a credit card, then there is no guarantee that you can have the room and rate that you specified. If my boss told you a special rate for a suite, he would have made the reservation to reflect that. Since he didn’t make you a reservation and he didn’t leave me any information regarding a special rate, I cannot charge you a standard rate for a suite, but if you truly want the suite, I will happily give it to you for $120.00. Or I can put you in the standard room for $110.00, and I can bring you an extra roll-away bed.”

“That’s not good enough.” She said. Her husband could see I was trying to play ball. I think he also realized that I knew she was lying through her teeth, and he interrupted her again.

“We will take the standard room with the extra bed.” He looked at his wife, who was stabbing him with her eyes. “Right dear?”

“Fine.” she said, then she grabbed her bag and walked to the elevator. I waited a moment, and she returned.

“I still have to assign you a room.” I said. She took a seat in the lobby, and I finished making the reservation with her husband.

That lady hates me now. I am certain we are now lifelong enemies. She will tell stories of my evilness that will be passed down for generations.

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