Sometimes You Need To Spray Some Ghost Repellent


There was a note on the board, in the office, asking that we shred old audit packets during our downtime. There I was, sitting in the office, and shredding papers when the phone rang. A guest was calling from his room. “Front desk, how can I help you?” I started looking at his reservation. He had a 3rd party reservation.

“I know this is going to sound strange, but I need you to switch my room.”

“Is there a problem with your room, sir?”

“Yes. Something is in here with me.”

“What kind of something?”

I was expecting something like, there was a broken window screen, and a bird was in the room, or maybe a bat.

“It’s a poltergeist.”

“Like the movie, with the little girl who stares into the television?”

“It’s a spirit of some kind. It keeps moving things around the room.”

“Well, did you ask it to stop?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“So… give it a try. Maybe it will stop. I’ll be here if you need me. Have a good night.”

I disconnected the call and returned to shredding papers. Nearly an hour went by, and I received another call from the same guest. “I asked it to stop, and I thought it worked, but it’s back.” He said.

“The ghost is back?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“What’s it doing?”

“It was just moving the curtain.”

“Is your window open?”

“Yes, but that’s not the issue. It’s not that windy outside.”

I beg to differ. I had a window open, near my desk, and there was a regular breeze, strong enough to blow papers off the desk.

“Maybe you should close the window.”

“I was actually hoping it would leave through the window.” Like a fart, just air it out. That makes sense to me.

“Are you sure it isn’t just the wind?”

“I don’t think so. Earlier, my toilet flushed itself, and my remote started changing stations while I was sleeping.”

“That is strange. Unfortunately, I can’t switch your room. When you get a room online, you pay an advance deposit on the room type that you chose at the time you made the reservation. I suggest next time you make a reservation, you contact the hotel directly, and request a room without ghosts. We always try to accommodate people based on availability.”

“I can’t switch rooms?”

“Unfortunately, no. I would have to charge you for another room. I also would not be able to guarantee you, if I did switch your room, that it wouldn’t also be haunted.”

“I’m not sure if I can stay the night.”

“Let me see what I can do. Hang in there, buddy. I’ll work on this for ya.”

I disconnected the call again and returned to shredding paper. I also wanted to be ready for monsters next call. I decided to google ways to repel ghosts, and I came across several monster and ghost-spray labels. So I printed one and taped it to a bottle of hotel air freshener. Thirty minutes after I disconnected my call with that man, he called back. “I can hear someone talking to me.” He said.

“What is it saying?”

“I can’t tell. It sounds muffled.”

“Do you think someone in a room next to yours might be watching television?”

“Oh, no. It’s not that kind of sound. I would know if it was a television.”

“Well, lucky for you I was looking through our cleaning supply closet, and I found a bottle of monster and ghost spray. I’ll be right up with it.”

“Really? That’s great!”

I went to his room, and I could hear the guest, in the room next to him. The television was on. I knocked on the door and started misting the air freshener around the door. He opened the door, only a sliver, and peeked at me. “Hi.” I said. “I’m just spraying the ghost remover spray. If you want, you can just spray this as often as you need. Just spray the whole room. The aroma helps keep ghosts and monsters away, while also leaving a pleasant aroma in the room.”

“How much does it take?” He asked as he snatched the bottle from my hand.

“As much as necessary. You can’t use too much. If this doesn’t work, then I am afraid I will have to call an exorcist, and that will cost you at least a hundred dollars extra, not to mention it’s a weekend, and the middle of the night.”

“Oh, yeah… No, I totally get it. Thanks for this.”

He shut the door. I returned to the office. I never heard from him again.

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