I Keep The Riffraff Out


A young man entered the hotel with his phone out in front of him. “This is my first recording for my video blog, where I show everybody that you don’t need to spend lots of money on things, and you don’t have to use a credit card to do stuff.” He said to his phone and my empty lobby. “Excuse me, sir. How much for a room for the night?”
“I can do a standard king for $109.”
“And you take cash payments?”
“Sure, you can pay cash at checkout. I just need a credit card for incidentals.”
“What do you need the credit card for, though.”
“Incidentals.”
“I don’t have a card for you. I can pay in cash.”
“I am ok with taking cash as payment for your room, but I still need a credit card for incidentals.”
“Are you saying you won’t sell me a room without a credit card?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t that discrimination? I can still pay you with legitimate money.”

I looked directly at his phone.
“You can pay all the cash in the world, but I never check a person in without getting a valid credit card from them. The hotel needs a guarantee that it can get reimbursed if a person smokes in the room, or causes damage. Before you get into any arguments about cash being acceptable payments, first think about how often people trash their hotel rooms without giving a credit card, then they get to leave without any extra charges while the hotel loses money because they have to do maintenance on the room before it can be sold again.”
“I know, a person can rent a room without a card.”
“Absolutely, a person can rent a room without a card, unless I am at the desk. In that case, give me a valid credit card, or get the hell out of my face.” I said that with a smile.
“I feel discriminated against.”
“How old are you?”
“I’m 19.”
“Well, not only is this discrimination for not having a credit card but also because you are under 22 years old. So the credit card is really a non-issue, right now. In reality, I won’t sell you a room because of your age. Now, I don’t care if you have a credit card, or not.”
“This isn’t right.”
“Now, get off my lawn… Hippie! I need to watch my stories.” I walked into the office… “Damn hippies trying to rent rooms to do drugs and have sex… Not on my watch… What channel is Matlock on?”

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