How To Chaperone A Youth Hockey Team: Get Drunk. Take Other People’s Food. Argue With Night Auditor About It.


After three years of observing people, while I at this hotel desk, it still surprises me how often the kids who stay here for hockey tournaments are, often, more well-behaved than their parents. I have had experiences with difficult kids, but, those are usually kids who aren’t traveling with parents.

I didn’t have a night from hell. I only received one call from a room, and all they wanted was extra sheets. The most irritating part of my night wasn’t even caused (directly) by the guests. It was actually because someone chose to put the thinnest, weakest garbage bag they could find, in the large garbage bin, and put it in the dining room for the hockey team to throw away their garbage. They had huge party trays full of lasagna, spaghetti, and meatballs, along with several varieties of snacks, like brownies, cookies, and chips.

They overstuffed the garbage bin. When I tried to change the bag, it tore in half. After the guests saw my unfortunate dilemma, they (the parents) decided to start piling the empty pizza boxes on top of the garbage bin.20170205_000456.jpg
Did I mention every one of those parents were drunk? They weren’t even the parents of the kids who brought the food. They were the parents of the youth hockey team. The teen hockey team brought the food, and they cleaned every table they used. They even put the pizza boxes in a nice pile on a table for me to easily pick up. It was the drunk parents from the other team, who decided they were going to move everything into my kitchen, where I was trying to clean a mess, but not before grabbing plates, and over-filling them with as much of the food as they could. They used the plastic grocery bags that had paper plates, and forks in them, and used the bags to keep their food wrapped. They put most of what they took, and put it in their cars. They also had their kids come down from their rooms to get food to take back to their rooms for a snack.

They took the majority of the lasagna, and almost the entire party tray full of meatballs. After they destroyed the trays, they decided to fill my sink with their mess. I had to clean a glob of ricotta cheese out of the sink. I hate ricotta cheese, now more than ever. At least there was lots of spaghetti left. 20170205_000421.jpg

Did I forget to mention that the coach of the teen hockey team offered me that food? Well, he did. He told me to offer it to the hotel staff, and there was plenty of it. We could have fed ourselves for a week. I was trying to put it all away, when the drunk parents decided to help themselves. I don’t care if they wanted some food. There was so much of it, that having a few plates of food would not have been excessive. All they saw was free food, and tried to grab as much as they could.

Another drunk Mom opened the kitchen door, and practically charged at me. I had just put all the food in the cooler. “What happened to all the food?”
“I just put it away. The coach offered it to the hotel staff, so I put it away for them to have later.”
“But, that was our food.” She said. Her tone was nasty. She was scolding me. I hate when drunk hockey parents talk to me like that.
“What do you mean? The coach told me to give it to the hotel staff.”
“That food is for the hockey teams. He can’t just give it all away. That’s way too much food. I’m going to put the lasagna in my car.” She started walking towards the cooler, so I leaned against it, like I do when I chill…
“Ma’am, that is not your food. Please leave the kitchen.”
“That food was provided for all of the hockey people!”
“You are with the youth hockey team, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, the coach, who bought all of that food, is the coach of the teen hockey team. Your kid is twelve, and is not associated with the team full of seventeen-year-old, guys. Your team did not provide any of that food, and it is not yours to decide to walk away with… I also want to know what the hell makes you think that talking down to me like this, is okay?”
She began stumbling her words… “I, uh.. I was under the impression…. Uh.. I thought is was all set up for everyone with hockey kids.”
“You knew it wasn’t your food. You waited until everyone from that team left, then you, and the other parents decided to claim it. It was given to the hotel staff. You’re drunk. Please go back to your room.”
I don’t think she liked being told to go to her room, but she seemed more insulted that I told her she was drunk. She pressed her hand against her chest and gasped. It was at that moment, I could tell she watches way too many daytime soaps. “I expected far better service than this…” She said.
“Well, then you should have stayed at a full-service hotel. If you want something to eat, I can make you eggs. They’ll help absorb the box of wine.”
“Give me your name. I want to talk to the manager on duty, right now.” I frigging love when people say that!
I pointed my index finger at my name-tag. It clearly reads, Michael. “I can call you Betty, and Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al… I’m also the manager on duty. How can I assist you?”
“You’re not making sense!”
“Do you know what doesn’t make sense? When people receive a grade, in school, they get either an A, a B, a C, a D, or an F… What the hell happened E?”
“Oh-my-God, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. You’re just drunk.”
“Just because I have been drinking all night, doesn’t mean I’m drunk!”
“Your body can only process one drink at a time. If you consume more alcohol before your body can process it, which most people who drink do, then the alcohol circulates through your system, until your body can finally process it. That’s what being drunk is. By the way, the hangover you’re going to have tomorrow will be mostly dehydration. You should have some water.”
“I think you went off topic…”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. You were trying to get yourself back to your room, and I have been keeping you. I’ll go back to cleaning this mess, and leave you alone.”
I turned my back to her, and started cleaning the counter. The lady huffed as she walked away from me. I spent the rest of my time working on the company tracking report, until breakfast time.

I decided to make the pancakes available early. With two hockey teams in the building, it’s a good idea to have something simple for them to eat, that I won’t have to replenish every five minutes. They always get up early, and I would rather have pancakes available, to keep them out of my hair. Besides, who doesn’t love fresh, hot pancakes? Since I had to make some test pancakes, to make sure the machine was running correctly. I enjoyed some for myself. 20170205_044317.jpg

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