Two guys walked in and asked for two rooms. I happened to have three rooms left to sell. “You guys are so in luck! I have suites available at the amazing introductory rate of $139.00!” They stood there looking at me like I was speaking another language.
“We, uh… We just need simple beds to sleep in for the night. Can you do better than that?” Said the guy holding the credit card.
“Oh, no problem. Do you have AAA?”
I was looking at the rates. “Well, screw that nonsense.” I said. The two of them got wide-eyed. “The AAA rate is absolute crap. How about I just drop it down to $109.00?”
“Sold!” said the guy with the credit card. I got them checked-in, and as they were signing their papers, another gentleman walked in. He politely waited his turn, is what I would say if that was true.
“Can you maybe hurry this up? I’m a member.” He said. I smiled at him, and politely finished helping the first two guys.
The new guy approached me, and slapped his credit card and drivers license on the counter. I don’t know what his problem was, but he was clearly pissed off. When he originally spoke, I thought he was just rude. Now I think he’s an asshole. I had no other arrivals, and only one room left to sell. There was no need for me to say… “Do you have a reservation?” I asked anyways.
“What do you think?” He said.
“It looks like we have no arrivals, so I will just assume you need to make a reservation.”
“I need a king bed. Charge me for a basic room, and give me my free upgrade.”
“We only have one room available. It is a single queen suite. I can give it to you for…” He cut me off.
“Just sell me the basic room, and do what I asked.” He was very insistent.
“I only have that single queen suite, but I can give you a reduced rate.”
“I’m a member.” He went there again.
Why do people do that? Why do people think that I can make the exact room type they want, appear after making it perfectly clear that there is only one room left to sell. It cannot be magically altered to become the room type that they want. “It’s unfortunate that we don’t have any other room types available. I can only put you in the queen suite.”
“I need the bigger bed. I always get the upgrade to the king suite. I shouldn’t even have to have this conversation with you about it. It’s your job to automatically upgrade me for no extra charge.”
“Yes, normally we would give you the standard rate, and automatically upgrade you, but that is always based on availability. We only have the one queen suite right now.”
“I’m a regular here. Just look me up.” He said.
I did look him up. I checked for a history. Do you want to know what I found? Nothing. The guy never stayed at my hotel before. “I don’t see you in our reservation history, but that isn’t a problem. I can quickly get you in that room, and off to sleepy town.”
“Don’t play games with me. I stay at your hotel everywhere I go.”
“You mean here? This exact location?”
“No. I’ve never been to this city before.”
“I see. That is why I cannot find you in our history. We can only see if you stayed at this property in the past, not other properties. It still isn’t a problem. I can get you in a room really fast.”
“An upgrade to a king suite.” He said. Then he stared at me like he was my boss, and he was waiting for me to comply, and if I didn’t give him the answer he wanted, I was going to lose my job.
“I can put you in a queen suite, for $109.00. That is the only option available. I will give you the 500 points you will get for your stay, and I will add another 500 points to get you out of my hair.” Well, that was probably not the correct response…
“Okay. Fine.” He said. I punched in his rewards number, and got him checked-in so fast that I might have broken a speed record. “I’m going to go ahead and assume you are new at your job. You need to learn how to accommodate your rewards members properly.”
I imagined myself as Rambo, when he camouflaged himself with mud, and waited for the soldier to approach him.