Knuckleheads…


I received a call from someone who sounded like a young man. He wanted to know the rate for a room for the night. I gave him the full rate, and he accepted it. It sounded like he was driving, so I asked him if he wanted to reserve the room when he arrived so he could focus on his driving, and he insisted on completing the reservation over the phone. The call was quick. He arrived in twenty minutes.

I watched him get out of the car with four other young guys. One of them was on the phone, and as the doors opened I heard him giving someone directions to the hotel, and telling the person this is where the party is at. Not at 1 in the morning during my Sunday Audit. When the entourage reached the desk, I asked for I.D. Everyone looked at the shortest guy there. The little man handed me his license, and he was only 18. “Sorry, guy, but you need to be over 21 to rent a room. I can’t check you in.” I said.

The five of them were surprised. In fact, they all started saying, very loudly, things like… “Yooooo!”, and, “This dude for real?” and, “This some bullshit…” and to top it all off…. “This some discrimination, N’shit!…”

I couldn’t help myself, and I started chuckling. They were looking at me with hardcore expressions, like they were on the cover of an N.W.A. Album, but imagine the characters from the 90’s cartoons Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy, add Doug Funnie, and Dexter from Dexter’s Laboratory. Now you know why I was so entertained. “I can’t check you in. Unfortunately, I have to cancel your reservation.” I said.

The short one, Dexter, argued that he already gave me his credit card. I told him I never charged it, so he didn’t have to worry about getting billed. Then I told them to leave.

Within ten minutes I saw an arrival on my list that wasn’t there before. The name on the reservation was the same as the one I recently canceled, only this one was from Expedia. This has happened in the past. I refuse to sell some kids a room to party in, and they go online, thinking that they can bypass me.

When they returned, with smug expressions. I told them I wasn’t going to check them in. “We got a confirmation number, son.” said the tall idiot. Another one of the group pulled out a vapor mod-box, and started blowing giant vapor clouds in the lobby. “Hey, Puff The Magic Dragon, take that outside. The rest of you can follow his vape trail.” I said.

“Who he calling a dragon?” he said.

“Who IS he calling a dragon. I think that is what you meant.”

The short, Dexter, guy stepped up. Not literally, not without a step latter, I mean he tried to take charge. “I already paid for the room, and it’s not refundable. You have to let us stay. You don’t have a choice.”

“I already told you that I can’t make you a reservation because you are not 21. Going online and making a reservation will not change our policy. You have to contact Expedia and ask them to cancel it. I’m sure due to the circumstances, and the fact that they will call me to confirm it, and I will agree to canceling it, that they won’t give you any issues with giving you your money back. I just can’t make you any promises, but you have to act fast, because I have an audit to do soon, and if you don’t cancel it, I will have to take a deposit, and take the full payment for the room before I continue with my work, regardless if you are here or not.”

Tall and stupid spoke up. “Yo, this aint right. We gonna get ours.”

“You’re hurting my brain, kid.”funniest-quotes-ever-024

“You aint seen the last of us.” he said.

“Are you coming back with the cast of Hey Arnold?” He had no clue what I was talking about. I laughed some more as he scratched his head. “Alright, you crazy knuckleheads… Get on out of here and go play with your friends.”

The five of them walked back to the car, calling me an asshole. I received a call from Expedia, and I explained the issue. I agreed to let them cancel the reservation, and everything turned out just fine, for me.

Who know what kind of crazy adventures those wacky kids will have…

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