Another Drunk Biker Pool Party

The Punishers have returned to the hotel. I have no clue how the last two nights with them have been, because I had the last two nights off, but tonight is the night of their annual Christmas party. They had their big dinner, and formal gathering at another location, but have scheduled their after party for my hotel. We don’t actually host parties. We don’t have an appropriate place for people to have loud drunken gatherings during the nighttime hours. We have a meeting room, that is always used by a travel resorts sales company, and they keep their computers in the room during the night hours. I cannot let people in there for a party. Other than that, we have a small dining room located next to the lobby.

Last year was full of anxiety for me. They went bonkers. This year, I am more prepared for the craziness. I already locked every door leading to both the office, and the laundry room. Last year they tried entering every single door that would open. I am not chasing people out of areas that have clearly written signs saying not to enter. Not this year.

At 11:30pm I had a call from a guest, and she was already complaining about noise on the 2nd floor. I explained to her the situation, and said that I would try to keep people quiet when they are in the hallways. She reluctantly accepted my response, but I won’t be surprised if I get another call from her during the night. I am doing what I can to make sure the group can enjoy themselves, while still maintaining some amount of peace and quiet for the rest of the hotel guests. By midnight, the whole group returned from their other gathering, and the after party went into full swing. I have had four people walk past me and say… “Get ready for some crazy action!”

Most of the people have stayed in the dining room and the pool. By 1:30am the group seemed to be slowly going to their rooms to pass out. All good. Nothing to worry about tonight. My anxiety seems to have been premature.

People are wobbling, and bouncing off each other like pool-balls. It’s like watching a domino effect. One person tips over, grabs whoever is closest to them, then that person tips over, so they grab someone, and that person tips over…. It’s just a bunch of people falling on their asses. Some guy with a gut the size of a Buick started wandering around the lobby with his beer, wearing nothing but his underpants. I am pretty sure they are supposed to be boxer-briefs, but, let’s face it, a man that size will turn any size boxers into briefs. There’s no free space in anything he wears. I hope he doesn’t remove them.

While sitting in the office, I heard… “Okay, who wants to see some titties? If you’re interested, head to the pool!” The skinny dipping started. I think the youngest of them in 60 years old. I don’t plan to go to the pool room anytime soon.

I heard someone calling for my attention at the desk. I walked over, and saw a fat old man with no clothing on, standing in the center of the lobby with water falling off him. “You ran out of towels.” He said. That was when a local cop walked in. I didn’t call him. He stopped and shook his head in disbelief at what he was seeing. I grabbed a towel for the guy, and when I returned, he was talking to the cop. “I’d show you my badge, but I don’t have it on me at the moment.” I handed him the towel, and explained to the cop that there is a biker club staying in the hotel, and they are mostly retired cops. I asked him to let the guy find his clothes, and leave him alone. It turns out that the people staying across the street were being more troublesome, and he wanted to check on us. I assured him that even though it looked crazy, and it was, it was actually well under control. He asked if I would let him walk around. I agreed. When he came back down he said… “Did you know the 2nd floor smells like pot?


“And you’re okay with that?”

“It’s not a matter of being okay with it. There is no way of knowing which room, or rooms the smell is coming from, so there is no point in having someone do anything. If the room smells when they check out, we will charge them a smoking fee.”

“You know it’s illegal, right.?”

“It’s medically legal, and do you really want to be bothered with having to arrest a bunch of cops for smoking pot?”

“Not really.” He sat and had a cup of coffee while we watched people run around. It was pretty entertaining.

There was a guy wondering the hallways searching for his room. I found him on the 3rd floor standing between room 319, and 321. “Can I help you with something?” I asked.

“Shit, I can’t seem to find my room.”

“Do yo remember your room number?”


“We don’t have a room 320. You are probably at the wrong hotel.”

“No, I’m with the party.”

“I can see that you are, but that room doesn’t exist here. Do you have your key?” He handed me a key-card for the hotel across the parking lot. “You are staying across the street.”

“Wait a second. I was at the holiday party, and everyone started loading into your van to come back here. You’re saying I took the wrong van?”

“The hotel you’re staying at is just across the other side of the parking lot. It’s no big deal.”

The guy stumbled back to the lobby, and sat in a chair. People were joking with him, and he kept complaining to them that he can’t understand how he ended up at the wrong hotel, and he had no clue how to get back. Everyone laughed at him, and reminded him that he could walk there in less than a minute. Nothing they said got through to him, he was too far gone. Someone decided to grab a luggage cart, and push it next to him, two more guys grabbed him and shoved him on to the cart. “We’ll be right back with this, I swear!” said one of them. They pushed him all the way across the street, and returned the cart. By then, there were people passing out all over the dining room. The guy with the cart started loading the thing with passed out bodies. One at a time, he pushed people to their rooms, and carried them to their beds. It took him half an hour, but he moved everyone.

There were only three rooms left to sell. I was surprised the hotel didn’t sell out before my shift. Two people walked in, both looking for a room. They happened to be with the group, but never arranged for a room. I gave them each a room for $99.00, which is way below the $200 rate we actually charge for those rooms. Just before I had to run the end of day procedures, a woman walked in with her teenage son. I only had a single King suite available. They took it for $89.00. I was able to end the business day with a sold out hotel. Hello bonus! I get a bonus every time the hotel sells out.

By 3:30am, you would never know there were people partying anywhere. The entire mess was picked up, garbage was removed, and there was not a single beer, or liquor bottle to be found. The sober ones stuck around to do the cleanup. Yes, there were sober people. I didn’t believe it at first either. I was able to get all of my work done with no hassle. Unfortunately, I can’t say it will be a good day for housekeeping after they all check out. Hopefully they will leave some nice tips.


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