Luna The Lunatic


Luna only shows up to work early when she has a shuttle scheduled before her shift starts. Today Luna arrived at 4:30am, and there are no shuttles scheduled for the entire day.
“Why are you here so early?” I asked, genuinely irritated to see her face this morning.
Luna ignored my question, like usual, and started taking away all of the fresh hot coffee that I just made.
“You are dumping my freshly made coffee. Please don’t dump the coffee.” I said, knowing the cost doesn’t come out of my pockets, yet it still irritates me that she would be wasteful just because she hates me, and wants to make it blatantly obvious that she is always going to refuse to be reasonable with me. Luna walked up to the television, grabbed the remote, shoved her middle finger in the air while looking at me with an expression on her face that would suggest she just saw me poison her dog, and then turned on the news, making sure the volume was turned up entirely too high. I walked to the dining room, grabbed the remote after she went into the pantry, and I turned the volume down to a quieter level. Luna rushed me like a friggin cheetah. She’s fast for a fat old grandma.

“Don’t touch my remote, you asshole!” She said with serious rage in her voice. I am not talking about her usual unrealistic attitude, this was a hard-core deep rooted rage.
“First of all, you need to check your shitty attitude at the door. Secondly, you turned the volume up too high. It is 4:30 in the morning, you are here entirely too early, and that volume level will disturb the guests on the first floor.” I decided to turn the television off, and I walked back to my desk, making sure to bring the remote with me.

“Give me the remote back right now!” She shouted while following me back to my office door.

I unlocked the door, and entered the office, leaving her locked out. Luna pounded on the door, still shouting at me to return the remote. I walked up to the front desk, placed the remote on the desktop, and leaned back in my chair.

“I will return the remote at 6:00 when breakfast starts. I don’t know what has you so steamed up this morning, but the way you are acting is unacceptable, and I cannot let you disturb the guests. Now get away from me before I open up my email and tell the GM all about your childish little outbursts.”
“He won’t believe you.”
“He believes everything I tell him, and the best thing about it is, now the rest of our co-workers are complaining about you on a weekly basis, which helps give me more credibility. I can make anything up that I want, and as long as it sounds like your behavior, then it doesn’t matter if what I say is true. Keep that in mind next time you feel a need to rush me like a maniac.” Luna’s eyes opened so wide that I half expected her to push them back in their eye-sockets.

“I need the van keys.” She said with her teeth clenched. The dark side is strong in this one.
“No.”
“Give me the van keys.” She said again, but this time her head tilted to the right just a bit.
“You don’t need to drive the van this morning. I am not giving you the keys, now go away.”
“I have a shuttle this morning. Give me the fucking van keys right now!” Her face turned fifty shades of purple.
“Luna, pay attention.” – I held the blank page from the shuttle log in front of her face. – “There are no shuttles today.”
“What did you do with the schedule?”
“I can’t believe how dense you are being right now. Why do you think you have a shuttle?”
“Because the guest told me he needed it today.”
“When?”

Suddenly Luna changed her tone, and tried sounding innocent.

“The other morning when I drove him to the airport.”

To save you from confusion, we have had guests from United airlines staying at the hotel for over a month, and we have been giving them daily rides to the airport so they can get to work.

“The person you are thinking of is not checked in at this hotel anymore. His stay was cut short, and he never made arrangements for the shuttle.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know?”
“You check the log book, you big dummy.”

Luna quietly, and slowly turned around, and walked back to the pantry where she slammed the door shut behind her like a pissed off fourteen year old.

I can be a real asshole sometimes.

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