Luna’s Lesson: It’s Hard To Lie When There Is Photographic Evidence


I did my audit at 3am like usual, then I printed, and filed all of my reports, and by 4am I was delivering the bills. The early shuttle is scheduled for 4:45. Luna arrived as I stepped into the elevator. Delivering all of the bills took me 15 minutes, and when I returned to the desk, Luna was prepping the breakfast, so I waited for her to ask me for the keys. Luna kept giving me an evil look while she was putting food out for the early guests. I kept smiling at Luna in return, which made her hate me even more. At one point, Luna stopped what she was doing, and spoke to me from across the lobby. “You know what you have to do.” She said. “I did my audit, then I filed all of my reports, and sent out the emails, and I just came back from delivering the bills. I don’t have to make breakfast today, so I would say I have done everything I have to do until the morning shift starts.” I said. Luna blurted out: “You have to come here and give me the van keys.” I shook my head. “Nope. You have to come to the desk, and sign them out.” I informed her. Luna raised an eyebrow at me. “I have never had to sign out the keys before.” She said. “You have always had to sign out the van key. You just never do.” I reminded her. I walked into the office and opened the lock box. I took the key out and grabbed the sign out board. I slid the clipboard in front of her and gently placed a pen on top of it. “Please sign your name, and please include the date and time that you are receiving the keys.” I said. Luna looked legitimately confused. “I don’t want to sign this.” She said. “Why not?” I asked. “Because I don’t want to have to be held responsible if something happens to it.” She replied. I was a bit dumbfounded by that answer. “Luna, you are responsible tor the safety of your passengers while you drive them to the airport. If you are too afraid to be responsible for the keys, and refuse to sign them out, then I am locking the keys back up, and calling a cab for the guests. There is no way I am letting people in a van with you behind the wheel if you are too afraid to sign out the keys, because you don’t want to be held accountable for them.” I informed her. Luna glared at me. I am sure she was thinking of some witches spell that she hoped would kill me on the spot, but she must have gotten it wrong, because I’m still here. She took the pen and signed the sheet, and I handed her the keys. “You need to give me housekeeping keys too. She insisted. “I will not give you housekeeping keys.” I said. Luna was insulted. “You have to give me those keys, so I can come back inside.” She demanded. “You use the housekeeping keys to go through all of the housekeeping closets so you can take all of the magic erasers. I am not giving you any of their keys, but what I will do, since I am the nicest guy that you know, I will make you a special key that you can use just for that side door.” I said. She took the fresh made, and limited use key with a frown.

A guest walked over to the coffee counter, and poured himself a cup. I watched Luna rush over to him so she could pretend to care about him in hopes that he will give her a tip for pretending to give a shit about him. “Hello, my love! I have lots of hot coffee and food, just for you.” She said as he took his first sip. “This coffee kind of tastes funny.” He said. “I just made it fresh.” Luna said. “Why does it taste like plastic?” He asked.  “I make it all fresh. I don’t know why it would taste like plastic.” Luna said. The man dumped his coffee into the garbage can, and approached my desk. “Where can I get coffee that tastes like coffee?” He asked. I gave him directions to the local Wegmans grocery store. “They have a variety of hot coffees to choose from, and they will make you a fresh hot breakfast, and cook the whole thing right in front of you.” I said to him. Luna gave me that evil stare again. I thought for a moment there was a tingle in my arm, but nothing happened, so, Luna is a poor excuse for a witch. If any of my readers happen to be part of her Coven, unfortunately you got yourselves a lemon. I recommend trading her in for a newer model.

Luna came to my desk, and slapped her palm on the desktop. “Why did you give him directions to get food and coffee there?” She demanded an answer. “Because they make better coffee than you, and they actually will make him fresh food, right in front of him.” I said. “But he is our customer. You can’t suggest that people go someplace else for food.” She said. I decided to tell her exactly how it is. “You made the coffee by letting it brew in a plastic bucket that is not made for hot liquids. The guest could taste the plastic, and then he asked where he could get better coffee. I did my job, and suggested a place for him to get coffee, and food.” Luna argued some more. “You can’t send people to eat at another place, we are supposed to get them to eat here. You are not supposed to give other places our business.” I laughed at her argument. “We are not losing business. The guests paid for their rooms, and the breakfast is included whether they choose to eat it or not. Sending them to a place after they request a recommendation is part of my job. The issue is not whether or not we lost business, the issue is that your ego needs people here so you can suck up to them for tips.” I said. “I don’t use the plastic buckets anymore.” She informed me.plastic coffee

The shuttle passengers arrived, and Luna got them in the van, and drove them to the airport. Once they pulled away, I reset her key so it would no longer work at the side door, and then went to the pantry. I found the coffee brewing in a plastic ice bucket, and took pictures. When Luna returned, she scolded me for the malfunctioning key. I held my phone in front of her face, and showed her the picture of the coffee filled ice bucket. Luna said: “I hate you!” Then she stomped back to the dining room.

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