I Have The Power To Make You Miserable


Last week we received heavy snowfalls, and the plow driver, hired by the hotel plowed around my car, creating a thick, densely packed wall of snow that pressed right against my doors. I was not looking forward to digging myself out. That same morning Tim, the Maintenance Guy used his new snow blower to clear out the snow between the parked cars. I asked him to clear out the area around my car. He said: “That’s where I’m putting all the snow.” I laughed, because I assumed he was joking, until twenty minutes later when I looked out the window, and saw him actually covering my car with more snow. I pounded on the window, and flipped him off, and he gave me a huge toothy grin. When he came back inside I told him I would be getting my revenge, and he laughed it off.

During my shift last Sunday I made a fake reservation, and scheduled a shuttle ride from the hotel to the airport for 4:00 this morning. Tim is the only available shuttle driver on Thursdays, so he would be forced to come in to work early, which I know he hates having to do.

Last night I arrived to work, and did my usual routine. At midnight Tim called and asked me to confirm the shuttle. “It’s written in the book for 4:00, and it has your name signed to it.” I said. “Okay, I’ll be there early.” He replied. I waited until audit time to cancel the reservation. At 3:00am the maintenance guy walks through the door, grabs the shuttle keys, and drives it to the main doors to sit and warm up for the passenger who will never arrive. I continued finishing my audit, and the two of us sat in the dining room to watch the news, and wait for the imaginary passenger.

The clock said 4:15. Tim, looked at me and asked: “Where is this guy? He’s fifteen minutes late.” I shrugged my shoulders and said: “I’m unsure, sometimes people run late. I bet he will come down soon.” Tim gave me a scowl, and returned his focus back to the news. I decided bring out the cereal and bagels, because I always put food out for early departures, and I didn’t want Tim to become suspicious.

At 4:30 Tim spoke up sounding sounded tired, and frustrated. “Where the hell is this guy? He’s gonna miss his flight. Go call his room and tell him to hurry his ass up!” I casually returned to the desk, pretended to look for the imaginary persons room, and pretended to make the call. Tim, watched with anticipation radiating from his face. “He isn’t answering my call.” I said. Tim scratched his head. “Where the hell did he go?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders again. Tim continued: “Give me his room number. I’m gonna go wake his ass up before he misses his flight.” I wrote down the room number the imaginary man was supposed to be in. “Golly, Tim, you don’t think maybe he passed away in his sleep do ya?” I asked. Tim shook his finger in my face. “Don’t say shit like that. I don’t wanna walk in on a corpse.” He said, and went up to the room.

I waited. Tim came back, and he was red in the face. “I pounded on that door, and the dude didn’t answer. So I opened the door, because you had me worried that he was dead, and the room was never even used.” I pretended to be dumbfounded by his story. “Wow, Tim. So you mean the guy isn’t dead then. That’s good.” Tim was not amused. “Dude, there was never anyone in that room, that means he never checked in.” He said. I opened up the guest list again, and pretended to search for him. “You know what, Tim? I think this might be the reservation that I had to cancel last night, because the guy didn’t arrive, and he didn’t have a valid credit card. It’s a real bummer that you had to come all this way so early for nothing. I sure hope you got enough sleep last night.” I said, and quickly went to the bathroom, because I was about to burst with laughter. For the remainder of my shift, Tom kept glancing at me, and I could tell he was becoming suspicious, but he never spoke up.

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