There’s A Cougar In The Building

January 7, 2016

It is not uncommon for there to be at least one arrival left when I begin my shift at 11pm, and when I arrived to work, there was a registration card in the bucket. I never checked the reservation, the paperwork was already done for it, which means I don’t have to authorize the credit card for it. By 11:30 the woman who reserved the room arrived. She is in her 50’s, but has very little gray in her long black hair, and looks like she is about 5’6”. I greeted her with my usual smile, opened the reservation. I saw it was through a third party, and prepared myself for an annoying experience.
The reservation only had the woman’s name attached to it, there was no phone number, and no home address. “May I please see your I.D., and a credit card for incidentals?” I ask. The woman looked at me as if I had asked her for her something absurd. “No.” She scolded. I hate you already. “Can I ask why?” The woman glared at me with her wide, round eyeballs. “Because I already gave you that information.” She said, continuing with her scolding tone. The inflection in her voice made me want to return that attitude, and shove it in her face. “I see your name attached to the reservation, but not your address, or phone number. I also need to confirm who you are, and I need to add the credit card for incidentals only.” The woman turned her head away from me as she spoke. “I gave that information when I made the reservation.” As soon as she turned her nose up at me, I felt like I was talking to Luna, she even had the same Luna scowl on her mug. My instinct is to immediately say something insulting, but I had to fight the urge. “You made this reservation through a third party. That third party does not provide us with your personal information, for security purposes.” She slowly turned her face towards me again, and made her demand. “I want to talk to the Night Manager.” I extended my arm, and offered to shake her hand. “I am the Night Manager. How can I help you?” The woman was not amused, she stood firmly in place, and gave me that uncomfortable stare. If she raised children, I bet they were terrified of her when she got angry. I really did have to get that information from her, but since the room was paid for when she made the reservation, I felt that getting her away from me was the best option for us both.
I put an X in each of the empty boxes, and proceeded with checking her into her room. Suddenly, she said. “I want to pay cash.” The irritation that was subsiding within me resurfaced. “Pardon me?” I said. “Please take the reservation off my credit card. I want to pay cash for the room.” I was trying to avoid having a prolonged conversation with you. I even chose to ignore the lack of required information in your reservation, and now you want to pull this shit on me? I hate you. “Ma’am, you made this reservation online, through a third party. It is a prepaid reservation. You paid for your entire stay at the time that you made this reservation. I can’t change that.” She tilted her head slightly, still glaring at me, and never blinking. “Young man, I have been staying in hotels long enough to know that I can pay cash for a room if I wish.” You are also old enough to know better than to agree to make an online purchase without reading the details about what you are agreeing to. “When you make a reservation with a third party, you agree to the full payment, up front. Before you confirmed your reservation you were informed that the payment would be taken immediately. You also confirmed that you understood that the money could not be refunded. Also, If you have been staying in hotels for as long as you are implying, then you already know that all hotels request identification, and a credit card for incidentals at the time that you check in.”
The woman calmly placed both her hands on the counter, and gave me another Luna-like glare. “I don’t like your attitude.” I don’t like your face! “Ma’am, it’s late, and I am sure you want to go to bed. Can you please just show me identification, so I can at least confirm that you are the person who rented the room? We can move on from there.” She took a moment to consider my request, and quietly reached into her purse to get her I.D. I gladly took it, and began entering the address information to her reservation. Her I.D. only showed a P.O. Box number, which happens to be the post office located a few blocks down the street from my house. That lady is a neighbor of mine! If I ever see her in the grocery store, I am going to be the biggest asshole she has ever met. I will crash my shopping cart into hers, and yell.. “Move it, lady! Some of us are trying to shop while knowing exactly what we are paying for!” I will enjoy it a great deal.
Still filling out the required information, I asked what her reason for visiting was, she pondered how to answer that question for a second. “Leisure.” She said. Based on my experience with people at this job, I made a guess that she was using the hotel as a safe place to secretly meet with someone, and didn’t want her credit card bill to show her activity, which is why she wanted to switch over to cash. I handed her the paperwork to quickly fill out, and she took her key, and walked away from me.
Half an hour passed after that annoying woman went to her room, and a young man in his 30’s walked through the doors, and I welcomed him to the hotel. He waved at me politely and asked where he could find room 223. Room 223 is where the annoying woman is staying. I said… “Room 223 is on the second floor.” He seemed to have missed my sarcasm completely, thanked me, and walked towards the end of the hallway.
I hate sitting at the desk without occasionally stretching my legs, so I decided to walk through the building. Starting with the stairs at the north end of the building, I walked all the way up to the fourth floor, walked down that hall, and went down the stairs to the third floor. I went to the end of that hallway, and obviously made my way down the second floor. At the other end of the hallway, I saw a gray haired man pressing his ear against a door, and approached him. “Can I help you with something, sir?” I asked, still half way to where he was standing. The man was startled by my unexpected appearance, and shuffled his way back to his room two doors down from the one his ear was just pressed to. When I arrived in front of the room he was eavesdropping on, I heard what had his attention. He was listening to room 223, and there was a whole lot of heavy breathing, and grunting coming from inside, not to mention the telltale sound of sweaty flesh, slapping against sweaty flesh.
The word for today is… Cougar.
Today’s bonus acronym is.. M.I.L.F.


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