What I Imagine Luna Does When I’m Not Around


The hotel has no expected arrivals, and I have nothing to do until 3am. Luna is not here yet to give me some crazy story to tell, so I decided to imagine what it would be like to see what her day-to-day activities might be like when she is not working with me.

LUNA GETS READY FOR WORK

It’s 3am, and Luna wakes up to the sound of her alarm. She drags herself out of bed thinking to herself. “It’s time for another day of pretending to make fresh food for stupid people who think I actually like them. Do people actually think I am making them fresh biscuits every morning? I pour a big can of gelatinous pork fat in a serving tray, and heat it up in a microwave, and people tell me how delicious my gravy is. Boy, these people are stupid.”
After she is clean, and dressed for work, she sits alone in her kitchen where she eats two slices of toast with jam. “What day is it? Do I have to see Michael this morning? He is going to say hello to me again, and that means I will have to hear his voice. Why won’t he quit? I have always been able to get everyone else I hate to  quit, so why won’t he just go away already? He’s too nice, and people laugh at his jokes. I hate that. Everyone should pay attention to me, and give me tips for offering to refill their coffees.”

LUNA MAKES BREAKFAST

“I like Friday mornings because Michael is not working, and that means I can do anything I want without him standing at the desk, which is close enough for him to hear me talk bullshit, and completely lie to the guests about how hard I work; especially when I claim to help fold laundry after my work in the dining room completed. Every time I lie like that to the guests, I know that Michael can hear me, and he knows that I am just trying to get sympathy tips. I hate that he knows I am a liar. I wonder how I can get him to eat this poisoned apple?”

LUNA JOINS A FIGHT CLUB

Luna walks into a poorly lit abandoned factory building; she is wearing her yellow wrestling jumpsuit, with her red cape and mask. Stepping into the middle of the circle of blood and sweat, she yells into the crowd, “If you have long hair, a beard, and your name is Michael, step forward now so that I can destroy you!”
A six-foot tall man fitting that description steps into the circle. Luna stands there as the man punches her in the face. She wipes the blood from her lip, and says, “Is that all you got?”. Luna then jumps into the air. Using her legs, she grabs his neck, and with one good twist, she gives it a quick snap. Once he is twitching helplessly on the cold cement floor, she bites into his throat, pulling out his esophagus with her teeth. Luna then rips his head from his shoulders, and tosses it into the crowd while screaming, “I will consume your souls!”.

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