The Hold Button Is My Best Friend


October 3, 2015 11:30pm

I had just started my shift after a long day of not being able to sleep. I stayed in bed for as long as possible before I was forced to get up to get ready for work, and I skipped my coffee. Often people question why it is so important to me to have coffee at 9:00pm, so I will save you the trouble of asking. Nighttime is my morning. Most people prefer coffee to start their day, and my day starts at 9:00pm. I didn’t have time to drink my coffee and relax for a bit before heading in to work so, basically, kiss my ass. I’m not in the mood for your shit right now.

The phone rang at the desk, and I answered it with as much professionalism as I had in me.
“I’m looking for two rooms for tonight. Do you have any connecting rooms available?” He asked.
There is a wedding group, and a large group of fishermen staying at the hotel tonight. There was no possibility of a connecting room, but I checked anyways.
“I do have several rooms available…” He cut me off. Asshole.
“Great I will take two of your connecting rooms. Do they happen to be suites? What is the rate for tonight?” He asked.
“Unfortunately, sir, we don’t have any connecting rooms available, but we do have plenty of rooms available to rent for the night. Unfortunately, we don’t have any suitors.” I politely told him.
“You just told me that you had plenty of connecting rooms available.” He said.
“No, sir, I didn’t. I told you we have plenty of rooms available, but you cut me off before I could finish my sentence.” I informed him.
“I need two connecting rooms.” He said.
I just told this man we don’t have any connecting rooms. I hate when people don’t listen.
“We don’t have any connecting rooms, sir, I’m sorry.” I was being polite. He thought maybe I needed explaining.
“Okay, listen. I need two rooms that are connected.” He said again.
“I do understand this, but we don’t have any connecting rooms tonight.” I politely reminded him again.
“You do know what connecting rooms are don’t you?” He said, rudely. Kiss my ass!
“Yes, I do. We don’t have any connecting rooms available.” I said, still being polite.
“I need two rooms that are connected to each other. Do you understand me?” He said like a complete jerk.
“Sir, I understand that you want two rooms that are side by side with a door connecting both rooms from the inside.” I said. My head started throbbing.
“Exactly!” He began shouting at me. “I need two of those rooms! Why is that so difficult for you?” He scolded me. I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.
“The reason it is difficult to accommodate you is because we don’t have any connecting rooms available. This is not a matter of me being unable to comprehend what you are requesting. We don’t have the rooms that you are looking for. The connecting rooms are occupied. I can offer you two rooms that will be next to each other, but they will not have a connecting door between them.” I informed him as professionally as I could with no coffee in me.
“You don’t have one single connecting room available? Do you understand how to rent hotel rooms mister?” He said like the true dickhead that he is. I bet he is trying to find a place to hold a party. Tough shit pal.
“I actually do have one single connecting room available.” I said. Which was true. There was one room available with a connecting door.
“Then why the hell did you tell me there aren’t any connecting rooms available?” He was pissed at me, and I was about to piss him off some more.
“The reason I told you that, sir, is because the other room connected to it is currently occupied.” I smiled at myself. I wish he could have seen me. People always get furious when I smile after they provoke an argument.
“Why the hell didn’t you leave the connecting rooms available for someone needing connecting rooms? Why would you rent just one connecting room to someone who doesn’t need them both? That seems kind of stupid, don’t you think?” He said. I have had just about enough of your shit!
“Sir, please hold while I try to find something for you.” I said.
I put him on hold, and walked over to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While the coffee was brewing I completed my nightly call around to the area hotels, and then went back to the kitchen for the coffee. When I returned to the desk, the man who I put on hold hung up. I sipped my coffee. That coffee tasted like winning.

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