Are You Mad At Me Bro?

08/12/2015 1:08am

The doors opened and a slightly balding 60 something year old white guy walked in. I saw the cab he took drive off. I was polite. I promise. I mean at first I was polite. He was just an asshole from the moment he walked into the hotel, and he was extremely drunk. Every breath he exhaled was almost intoxicating. Do not smoke around this man. He might explode.
“What do ya got?” He said, looking at me like I just killed his dog.
“Have you stayed with us before?”
“I don’t know.” He said in a way that meant hurry up.
“Are you a member of our rewards program?” His reply implied that I had just asked one too many questions.
“I don’t know that either.” He looked at me like I was the most irritating person he had ever had to talk to. I went right to the availability.
“Well, I have suites for $159.00 and standard rooms for $139.00. Are you looking for a single bed?”
“Do you see more than one of me standing here?” The way his eyes look I am guessing he is seeing double. I wonder which one of me he thinks he is talking to. I am betting on the one of me that can be an asshole.
“I certainly only see one of you. I have a king bed in the standard rooms. Should I set you up with that room?” He gave me another look showing me how dumb he thinks I must be.
“For how much?”
“That room is $139.00.” The guy leaned closer to me.
“Fuck you. How about $89.00” He spoke like that was more of an order than a request. Plus he said fuck you. Game on sir.
“I can’t do that.”
“What do you mean you can’t do that? Would you rather go without selling a room?” This guy just got out of a cab that left him here. This guy isn’t going anywhere.
“That is the rate. I cannot give you that room for $89.00.” He stared me down like he was someone to be feared. I was trying to figure out what he was drinking tonight. My guess is scotch. I bet if you modified a cars engine properly you could attach a hose from the engine to his mouth and run that car for at least 25 miles.
“It’s one in the morning and you expect me to pay that much to sleep? Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“That is what everyone else paid to sleep here tonight. My boss set the rates. He would be the one who you should address that question to.”
“I’m not paying $139.00.”
“I can give you the AAA rate. That is $128.00. Do you have a AAA card?”
“I don’t even have a car. No I don’t have a AAA card!”
“Then the room will be $139.00.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“My name is Michael.” I smiled and held out my hand to offer a polite handshake. He looked at me like I just insulted his intelligence. I put my hands in my pocket. “Would you like me to set you up with that room now?”
“Are you retarded?”
“Excuse me sir?”
“You are retarded and hard of hearing I guess.”He raised his voice. “I am not paying $139.00 for a room.” I leaned closer to him.
“You are also not paying $89.00 for that room.”
“I’m getting robbed.”
“Well then I suggest you get on your phone and call the police.”
“You just complained about getting robbed. That is a matter for the police to deal with.” He wasn’t sure what to say to that. He looked at me like I had just told him I was banging his wife.
“You think you’re funny. Fuck you.”
“I can get you in that room, or I can call you a cab.”
“What do you think?” I grabbed the phone.
“OK then I will call that cab.”
“Give me a fucking room!” I smiled and put down the phone. I had to refresh the screen and I saw that the king standard room had been sold to someone online.
“OK not a problem. I just need to check the room availability again. It seems the room we are talking about just sold online.” He blew up.
“What the hell do you mean it got sold?”
“I need to hold a room with a credit card to make sure it can be held for you. You didn’t give me a card to hold the room with and it was sold online. I do have a two queen room for the same price. I’ll even give you that AAA rate just to be nice.”
“Shit I don’t care anymore just get me in a room pronto!” I set up the room and took his credit card. I didn’t tell him what I was doing, but I changed the rate to $119.00, which was way better than $139 and I figure that if he goes to complain about it to someone later his account of the the rate I talked to him about will not line up with the rate I actually gave him. When I gave him the paper to sign he didn’t even check to see the lower rate. Another person was arriving so I gave the man his room key and sent him on his way.
“Have a good night sir. It was a pleasure talking to you.” I said with a grin. He flipped me off. The woman who had just entered looked shocked at his gesture. I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. “I guess he is not a fan of compliments.” Her check in was quick and easy. She turned out to be the one who took the king room online; while sitting in the parking lot. She was so polite that I offered her pancakes. She turned them down but thanked me for the kind offer. I’m such a nice guy.


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