August 10, 2015 5:30am
I had a week off from work. When I arrived last night I was informed that we are now serving pancakes to all of our guests from 8pm till midnight through the month of August. My co-worker Amanda told me all about it;including the note left for me at the desk.
“Luna wrote you a note. She put it in the book to make it look official. You should read it, like right now. I wanna see your reaction.” I opened the book and found a loose piece of paper with Luna’s handwriting on it.
Please make sure that you throw away all of the garbage in the dining room before Luna arrives in the morning. This needs to be done as part of your daily routine from now on. Refusing to do this will mean getting written up.
I laughed my ass off for a moment. Amanda started laughing with me, then she explained the note to me.
“She gave that to Stephanie this afternoon and told her that Tom (the assistant manager) left this in the kitchen for you, but she wanted to make sure you saw it as soon as you arrived tonight.”
“Does she expect me to believe that Tom wrote this? First of all this is Luna’s handwriting. Tom has terrible hand writing. Tom also never signs his notes. He does not leave his name, and he never writes Management at the end of anything. Oh, and he never says anything with a threat in the note. He will state new policies, but never threatens anything to get compliance.”
“I know. She also called me to make sure the note was still there and to make sure that you saw it as soon as you arrive.” I laughed at the note some more and Amanda took off to go home. I ignored the garbage.
At 4:30am Luna arrived. Like always, Luna is scheduled to arrive at 5:30am. I looked at her with a smile. Luna ignored my attempt to converse with her so I walked with her to the kitchen.
“Good morning Luna. Did you know that you are scheduled to arrive every day at 5:30 and not 4:30? Did you know that you are not supposed to work off the clock? Did you know that working off the clock can get you in trouble if you are accidentally injured on the job?” Luna kept pretending that I was not there. I was OK with that. “Hey Luna, I sure wish I could ignore the rules and work whatever hours I want. Boy that would bee neato. Hey! I have a question for you. Since we only sold 26 rooms last night; who do you expect to feed this early in the morning?” Luna was bringing out the cereal and bagels while I continued following her back and forth between the dining room and kitchen. She was trying hardcore not to acknowledge me. “Hey Luna, did you know that your handwriting doesn’t match Toms?” Luna glared at me with her brow making that angry look on her face. I smiled at her. “Hey Luna, guess what?” Luna turned away from me. “I am trying to imagine what Tom is going to say when he arrives this morning for work, and sees that letter that you wrote for me. In fact I am more interested in what he will do when he sees that you signed that letter with the word management at the bottom. Did you know that when Tom really wants to make sure I know to do something important; he sends me a text and asks me to do what he needs done? He never threatens me with anything. Do you think he will appreciate you leaving a note like that in the log book? He will probably want to know why you thought you could pretend to have the same authority as him.” Luna finally spoke to me.
“I don’t know what note you are talking about.”
“You know. I’m talking about the note that you gave to Stephanie to put in the book, and then called Amanda to make sure I saw it. I gotta be honest Luna, if you thought that letter was anywhere close to believable, then you are dumber than I ever gave you credit for. Now let’s be honest. I never gave you much credit to begin with.”
“Your attempts to insult me will not work. I know nothing about a note, and Tom can’t do anything to me because I never signed my name to anything.”
“So you have deniability.”
“Yes that is correct. I have deniability.”
“Because you wrote something that you didn’t sign your name to, and that means you can deny writing what you wrote because nobody can prove it was you unless you admit that you wrote it.”
“So you admit that you wrote that note then.”
“But you just agreed that you wrote the note without signing your name to it so that you could deny that it was you.”
“I liked you better when you had the last week off.”
“I really missed our chitchats. I can’t wait to see what Tom is gonna do this morning when he arrives though. He is my relief this morning and it is my job to make sure he reads everything put in the log book before I clock out. I mean, I get the whole deniability angle you got going. Hey it’s not like he can compare the handwriting to anything else you have written in the book in the past. I’m gonna call you Slick from now on, because clearly nothing can stick to you. Maybe he will just think there is a new manager, and that he was replaced, and will just shrug it off and go home. I think more likely he will bring you into his office and ask you to explain yourself.” Luna put down the tray of sausage that she was preparing. She walked over to my desk and grabbed the log book. When she opened it the paper note that she wrote was missing. Luna looked concerned and flipped through all of the pages searching for the paper.
“Where is the note?”
“Well you see Luna, when I saw the note I put it on Toms desk.” Luna walked into Toms office and found the paper. She grabbed it and tore it into pieces.
“There you go, problem solved. Now there is no note.” Luna smiled at me. “Now how are you planning to get me in trouble without any evidence?”
“Oh that’s easy. I photocopied it and put it under Dave’s door.” (Dave is the GM. He is Tom’s boss.) Luna’s eyes widened so much that it looked like her eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets.
“Why did you do that? He is already cutting my hours! Why would yo try to get me in trouble like that?”
“Luna, he is not cutting your hours. You are trying to work extra hours to get overtime, which screws the rest of your co-workers out of any overtime. So nobody is cutting your hours. He is just trying to make you work the hours that you are scheduled for.”
“But why did you put that letter under his door? He will yell at me.”
“Because it’s fun. I get bored sitting here all night.” (I never put the note under his door.) “Besides, you need to learn a lesson. What makes you think it is OK for you to order me to do anything?” Luna said something to me in Spanish. I think she was cursing me. She walked into the laundry room, and returned a moment later with a wire hanger that she was untwisting. I watch that fat old grandma struggle to get to her knees where she proceeded to run the hangers tip under the door. “I shoved that paper pretty hard. You might need a longer wire.” Luna struggled to latch on to anything that could be on the floor behind that door. The maintenance man arrived. He walked to the front desk area and saw Luna on the floor in front of Dave’s door. He immediately pulled out his phone and started taking her picture. He looked at me while snapping pictures.
“What the hell is she doing?”
“She is doing a bad job at trying to break in to his office. I told her not to but she never listens to me.”
Luna stopped what she was doing.
“I am not trying to break in.” She tried to pull the hanger out from under the door. The hanger was stuck in the rug. “I need to get this unstuck!” Phil, the maintenance guy laughed at her and took more pictures and commented on her issue.
“Hey you got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out of it.”
Luna struggled for a few more minutes; she gave up when she started to break a sweat. We both watched her struggle to stand. Luna gave us both the evil eye and went back to the dining room; leaving the hanger under the door. When she was out of hearing range I told Phil about the note, and me pretending to slide it under the door. We both got a great big laugh out of it. He went to fix stuff and I just stood at the desk watching Luna worry while pretending not to. This was the best first day back to work ever!