July 2, 2015 11:36pm
A man and woman approached my desk. His skin was pale. He was about 5’9 with short brown hair and obvious bedhead. His short sleeve collared shirt was pink, but I guess I am supposed to call it salmon. It looked like he just put it on after it was on the floor all day. The white trailer trash woman with him was his prostitute. She was wearing a fake white fur coat that didn’t cover her waist. Her belly was exposed, and she was wearing a tight short blue skirt with black boots that cut off just below her knees. Classy.
“Hi, how can I help you?” He leaned in putting his elbows on the edge of the counter; lacing his fingers together he said. “It would appear that our sheets were never changed before we checked in today. I would appreciate a discount for our stay.” He smiled at me, then he turned his head towards his classy lady friend and gave her an uncomfortable quick smile; he quickly turned his face towards his feet. She put on her black sunglasses and turned her head towards the exit. I asked him for his name and what room he was staying in, and I looked him up on the computer. “I am sorry for that inconvenience. What appears to be wrong with the bed?” He said. “There are streaks of poop all over the sheets.” I stopped looking at the computer and rolled my eyes towards his face. “Did you just say there is poop on your sheets?” He replied. “Yes I have a picture.” He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of his bed. It looked like someone wiped their ass with the sheets; several times. Once I found his reservation I noted the time he checked in. I said. “Sir, it looks like you checked in tonight at 8:00. Exactly when did you notice the bed?” He said. “Shortly after we checked in.” I said. “That was more than three and a half hours ago. Why are you just how mentioning this issue?” He said. “Well we were on a schedule. We had to do things.” Yeah, dirty things that involve pooping on the bed. I asked. “So you checked in; you went to your room and noticed poop on your sheets, and then left?” He said. “No. We never left the room until now.” The woman let out a heavy breath. I scratched my beard, then I asked. “You stayed in the room for the last three and a half hours with poop on the bed?” He gave be a grin and shrugged his shoulders like this was one of those moments in life you just run into every now and again. “It was a time use issue.” He said. The woman impatiently walked out the door and lit a cigarette. I watched her leave then I returned my attention to the guy and said. “So let me get this right. Just us guys now.” He nodded. “You checked in at 8, then you both went up to your room and got busy on the bed.” He confirmed. “Yes, that’s pretty much it.” I asked. “With poop on it?” “He said. “Yes. We didn’t have time to change the sheets.” He was studying my face. He was trying to figure out if I was buying is story. I leaned towards him and I said. “So you checked in to that room, you both noticed poop on the sheets, and then you decided to use the bed anyways. Is that correct?” He said. “Pretty much. Yes.” I took another look at the reservation screen. It didn’t show me anything that would help the situation. I just wanted to not look at him for a moment. I had to ask. “Is it your poop?” He immediately got fake angry with me. He even threw his arms up above his hear in fake outrage. “Are you kidding me right now?” So I asked. “So it is her poop then?” He turned dark red. Then he yelled at me. “This is unacceptable and unprofessional! I will not stand here and let you accuse me and my fiance of shitting our own bed! I want a refund for that room!” I got out a quick chuckle. “Sir, I am not giving you a refund for a room that you have been using for the last three and a half hours; covering the sheets with feces.” He stepped back a step, then he pointed a finger at me and he said. “Your employer will be hearing from me very soon.” After he said that he stomped his way out of the hotel. I can’t wait to see the head house keepers face in the morning.