Luna And Her Potty Mouth

There was a note at the desk informing me that the number of passengers for the morning shuttle would be three people, instead of the original two. No big deal there. All I had to do was tell Luna, when she arrives, because she always drove the shuttle during the early morning hours. Luna also hated me; she never told me why, but she certainly did a bang up job at making sure I knew she hated every fiber of my being. I actually know why she hated me.

When we first started working together, I was a houseman, and I worked part-time helping serve breakfast. Luna, being the full-time breakfast attendant, considered herself to be in-charge of that dining room, and kitchen. She wanted full control over the dining room, and in her mind, she was my supervisor. Of course, she wasn’t my supervisor, but that never mattered to Luna. When she decided on something, no matter how unrealistic it was, to her, it was set in stone. Luna was the boss, and that’s all there was to it. She adored me. I was smart enough to let her think I was playing along with her. She wasn’t there on the days I ran breakfast, so we didn’t clash with each other for quite some time. On the days that I worked as the houseman, I stuck to my simple daily checklist, which was mostly keeping hallways clean, and taking out the garbage in the common areas. One thing was made clear to me by management; stay out of the dining room when Luna was working. She was responsible for keeping the dining room clean, and removing her own garbage. I never considered there would be a problem if every once in a while I decided to help her remove her garbage for her. When I had the free time, I would grab the dining room garbage, and toss it for her.

Everything seemed calm, and chill until one day, when the hotel was busy, and I had more work than usual. Luna saw me walking down the hallway. I was heading to the laundry room, because they were running behind, and I was going to give them a hand. Luna stopped me, and asked when I planned to take out her garbage; she let it pile up. She never attempted to empty the garbage cans in the dining room during the entire breakfast shift. “I’m sorry, Luna, but I don’t have time to take out your garbage today.” I said.

“But, you always take out my garbage. I have been waiting for you to pick it up, all morning.”

“No, not always. Only when I have the time. You know better than to let it pile up like that.”

That was the moment when Luna began viewing me as her enemy. I know it sounds silly, but that was the last day Luna spoke to me without being mean in some way. For the next two years, Luna was my nemesis.

When Luna walked through the door, I smiled, and greeted her. “Good morning, Luna! I hope you are ready for another fun day at work. I have to inform you that you have an extra passenger this morning. Instead of two people, there will be three.” I said. She didn’t acknowledge me. Instead she tilted her head upwards, pointing her nose towards the ceiling, and turned her back on me. I raised my voice to accommodate for her walking away from me. “I notice you are not responding to my telling you important information about our guests and the shuttle that you are driving. Since our guests are most important I figured you should know about the extra passenger. Now I just hope you don’t leave one of them behind.” Keeping in mind that Luna had her back turned, she never saw the old woman walking towards the lobby. The woman stopped at my desk.

“Excuse me.” said the old woman.

“Go fuck yourself!” Said Luna. Luna said those words, then she slowly turned around to see the old woman standing there with her jaw dropped open. Luna turned pale.

“What did you just say to me?” Asked the woman.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. Luna has Tourette syndrome, and can’t always control her outbursts. Can I help you with something?” I said.

“I’m here for the shuttle to the airport.” She said. For Luna, that moment was a bit horrifying. Not only did she just tell an elderly woman to go fuck herself, but she had to sit in the hotel van with her, and drive her to the airport. For me, that moment was a dream come true.

“Ma’am, I would like you to meet Luna, she will be your driver this morning. I made lots of fresh coffee, and I have bagels, and muffins for you, as well. Feel free to enjoy them while we wait for the other passengers to arrive.” I said. Luna briskly walked away. She had to bring the van around. I continued apologizing to the woman, who was still frustrated with what was said to her. I discounted her stay.

I’m curious to know what that ride was like for Luna. I bet they didn’t talk to each other at all.


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