Drunk Waiting Room


The phone rang at the front desk. It was coming from room 415. I promptly answered using my professional voice. “Front desk, how can I help you?” The man on the other end of the line was so drunk, I could almost smell the booze lingering through the mouthpiece. Actually, his words were so badly slurred, that I could not make out a single word. “I apologize, sir, there must be a connection issue. Can I ask you to repeat what you just said?”

“I want… I wa…I want to check on my room. It’s still available… for me.” Is the drunk guy asking me if he can have the room he is currently occupying? Does he think he is waiting for the room to be available? What is he drinking? It must be heavy stuff if he thinks he is still waiting for his room. I am curious how much of what he is drinking it took to give him this awesome memory laps.

“Sir, I am checking my computer and it seems as though your room is currently occupied.”

“Sshhhit. How… How long will it take… I gotta sleep.” I love when my boring job suddenly turns into my own personal fun-zone.

“Well, I gotta be honest here. It looks like all our housekeepers have gone home for the night. I am going to have to contact one of them, and have her come back to make your bed for you.” I admit it. I am an asshole.

“Awww man. This is a bummer. Man…. uuuhhh…. Man.”

“I completely understand. I’ll tell you what. You go ahead and just get in bed and I will contact you when your room is ready. Would you like the king executive suite?”

“That sounds like a great idea. You… Yo… You are a nice… Guy.” I am a nice guy. When I am not being an asshole.

“Okay, sleep well. Talk to you soon.” That was so much fun for me that I almost played The Electric Slid,  and dance down the hallway in my old Hammer pants with my Bart Simpson “Don’t Have A Cow Man” T-shirt. Unfortunately, I left my Hammer pants back in 1995 somewhere. I am not rummaging through that mess.

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